don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
