I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
