Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
