Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
