Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
