bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
