do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
