If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
