yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
