I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
