hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize