The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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