the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
