Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
