Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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