I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
