Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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