She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize