420 ftw
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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