So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
