is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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