I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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