we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize