It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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