What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
