Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
