she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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