glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
