Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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