Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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