i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Houston, we have a blender
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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