before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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