I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
