let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
