Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
