It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
