i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
