bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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