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They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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