Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
