Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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