By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
