Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
