I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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