so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is the high leading the old right now
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
