the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if only i could text you this smell
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
