yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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