Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
