You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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