All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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