There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
