she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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