It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
