Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
