He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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