you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize