just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
