I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
