you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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