thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
