Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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