He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
