You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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