ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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