ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
