Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize