Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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